Where we challenge what you won't say or you don't know…yet

Posts tagged ‘Change’

What is a leader?

There I was sitting in a room with people with the title of leader. These leaders are getting ready to work with others that also have a title of leader. This made me ask the question, what makes a leader?

  • Is a leader someone who helps others figure out what to do or figures out what to do and let others witness it?
    Is a leader someone who goes first or goes last?
    Is a leader someone who tells others things or listens to others about things?

The answer to these questions is a simple one…yes.

A leader helps others figure the path and leads by example.
A leader sometimes pulls in the right direction and leads the way and other times pushes in the right direction and follows others.
A leader has answers and is always finding new answers.

Still confused? Here it is summed up in 3 simple points of what a leader does.vision

  1. Set a vision
  2. Clearly communicate that vision consistently
  3. Recruit a team to that vision

1. Set a vision – a leader should have an idea of where they currently are and where they want to go.

2. Communicate that vision – a leader should be able to share the destination with others so they want to go there as well.

3. Recruit a team – through communication a leader should be able to find others that see the same vision, hear the same vision and want to join on the journey to the final vision.

Some visions need a large team to achieve. Then there are some visions the only person you need to recruit is the one looking at you in the mirror!

You might not be a leader in title. That shouldn’t stop you from leading. In the different areas of life, we can all be leaders.

  • Maybe you are a leader in the business world.
  • Maybe you are a leader in your health choices.
  • Maybe you are a leader in the way you parent or the type of spouse you are.

The hardest person to lead is yourself so remember that YOU are a Leader and start there!

vision3

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Chadalyst – The best way to lead others is to lead yourself. Find one thing that you can lead yourself to success at, and do it! Then do it again! Soon enough people will be coming to you for the lessons you have learned and the leadership you display!

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3 Life Lessons in 1 minute

The great news is this posting has 3 powerful life lessons found within it. The not as great news is that it will take longer than 1 minute to read. The 1 minute in the title refers to the amount of time it took to experience and learn these lessons.

OTFThere I was working out at Orangetheory Fitness for a 5am session and feeling pretty good. It was an endurance day and our trainer for the morning, Jay, had me on the treadmill to start.

Jay would push all of us on the treadmills to a 3 minute block at a pace that was uncomfortable and then reward us with a break at a pace that was more comfortable. He continued this cycle with the reward times getting shorter and shorter.

After 15 minutes it was time to finish this block of running and Jay asked for us to give him 1 minute at our best possible speed and finish strong.

For those of you that know me outside of just reading my postings you know that I am determined and competitive. That being said I cranked the treadmill to the best speed I have ever run at and began my 1 minute ALL OUT!

30 seconds into my sprint I realized that I bit off more than I could chew, as my dad would have told me, and I had to jump off the racing belt of the treadmill as I was unable to continue.

It was at that moment that our trainer Jay leapt onto the back of my treadmill and began to encourage (yell) at me. He told me to get back on that treadmill and not to stop for anything. He told me to stop looking at the clock and just run until he told me I could stop. He told me there was nothing I couldn’t achieve if I put my head down and just ran!

And then finally Jay let all of us that were on the treadmills slow down and walk it out.

In that  minute, to be fair it was in the minutes after when I could reevaluate what had just happened, that I found these 3 powerful life lessons that will change me forever. I hope they help you without the need to go for a run.

1)We all need help to grow

Many of us believe we can do anything on our own. We don’t need help from others. Many of us are right, to a limit. Some of us have strong natural abilities in certain areas of life. Some of us are very entrepreneurial. When we become purposeful and we have someone to push us, someone hold us accountable or someone to care enough about us to tell us what we don’t always want to hear we can achieve breakthroughs and accomplish greater heights than we ever believed. In The ONE Thing this is referred to as Going from E to P. Remember, no one succeeds alone.

E to P

2)You must earn the right to be passionate for someone else’s goals

Jay had built a foundation with me based upon his credibility as a trainer, his authentic nature and his willingness to share. Jay has become a mentor to me in the area of personal health. Because of this he had the right to leap up on that treadmill and demand more from me.

Had Jay jumped up on the treadmill with someone who was in the class for the first time, they probably would have never returned.

Before you can help drive people towards their goals you must earn the right!

3)You can do anything for 30 seconds

If you have seen the movie We Bought a Zoo you heard Matt Damon playing Benjamin Mee tell his son that “sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

I believe that courage isn’t what is needed. Embarrassing bravery isn’t what is needed. All that is really needed is commitment. Commit to something for 30 seconds can attain it. Some things you might need to commit to for longer. For now, start with just 30 seconds!

Jay, thank you for the push, the all out, and the life lessons!

 

 

If you are ready to learn more about going from E to P,  you can get your own copy of The ONE Thing or contact me to learn how to bring the official The ONE Thing Workshop to youONEThing Certified

 

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Chadalyst – Go find that person in your world that has earned the right to push you and will do so for your own good. Ask that person to watch over your shoulder and encourage, support and challenge you today!

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One Year

one year agoOne year

365 days (at least 75% of the time)

52 weeks

8760 hours

525,600 minutes

You get the idea. A year can be as long or as short as you make it because it never changes on the calendar.

A year ago my life was very different as I lived someplace else, worked someplace else and had many other habits in my daily routine.

What could you do with a year?

  • A home can be built in less than a year
  • Training for a marathon can be accomplished in less than a year
  • A child can be conceived and born in less than a year

According to various studies it takes 66 days to make a habit and that means that in one year you could create at least 5 new habits. You can do more than 5 if you learn more than one habit at a time. Such as working out everyday AND waking up earlier to make the most of each day.

Each year on January 1st we set new goals. We finally make changes for the better. We also make promises that we usually have broken by February 1st. Why wait?

Pick any day and start over, New Year’s Eve doesn’t matter. If you don’t like the path you took today, start again tomorrow and go in a different direction. Just know that if you keep starting over in a different direction you will most likely end up moving in a circle and getting nowhere fast!

Decide where it is you want to be a year from now and step in the right direction.

  • Do you want to weigh less? Start eating right and working out today
  • Do you want to make more money? Start working harder, smarter or searching for the opportunity to earn more.
  • Do you want to get out of debt? Start paying off your smallest debt and working in the right direction.

 

What did your life look like a year ago?

What will it look like in a year?

The Future

 

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Chadalyst – Write down what your life will look like next year. Pick the 3 key words from what you have written and post them someplace for you to see daily. Seal the letter in an envelope and look at it in a year.

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The Weather Outside is Frightful, or is it?

What’s the weather like in your world?

I am not asking if you are from a different city then I am. I am not asking if you are in a different state. It doesn’t matter what country or even what world you are from. What I am asking is when you look outside what is the weather you see?

The weather changes often, which is what keeps our local TV weather people employed.  That is unless you live someplace like Las Vegas where the weather for at least the next 3 years seems to be hot, or a place like Seattle where the same 3 years seem to be filled with rain.

  • When you look out your window do you see storm clouds rolling in and the darkness coming or are you always able to see the patch of blue sky and the rainbows?
  • When the thunder booms is your first reaction to shut the windows and prepare for a storm or are you wanting to sit outside and watch the light show the sky is about to put on with an accompanying sound track?
  • Do you carry an umbrella just in case the rain comes or do you keep sunglasses on hand knowing the sun will be out any moment?

It all comes down to your mindset and how you look at everything in life.

Do your friends call you Debbie Downer because you always see the negative side of things or are you Sally Sunshine always looking at the bright side of life?tigger and eeyore

 
Was your favorite friend of Winnie the Pooh’s Eeyore or Tigger?

 

These are choices we can make each and everyday.

  • When your flight is delayed is that when you complain about flying or is that when you take the extra moments to make a phone call to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while?
  • When someone cuts you off on the road do you yell and scream at them even though they can’t hear you, or do you forget it and hope everything that they are rushing to is ok?

The weather will change. Seattle will have blue sky days (although they will never tell you that so you don’t move there and over crowd the city any more than it is already) and Las Vegas will have rain and days where the sun is never seen.

The question isn’t what is the weather today, the question is…what will you see in the weather today?

positive or negative

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Chadalyst  As soon as a negative thought enters your head, replace it with a positive one. It is impossible to have both at the same time! You CAN choose to see the sunshine!

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The 5 People You Spend the Most Time With

5 people

Jim Rohn told us and since then we have heard many times that we are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. We are told to choose wisely as we select the people we allow into our inner circle. We hear from experts and leaders that the more we interact with successful people the more successful we will be.

That’s great advice. Thank you to all that give us this information. Here is the challenge…who are the 5 people we should be selecting? Do we get to just choose these people and all of a sudden they are in our world and impacting who we become?

5 people you spend the most time with

If that was the case some very popular and successful people would have a lot of inner circles to be a part of and wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of them selecting their 5 people?

Maybe we can set this up like a sports draft and take turns selecting people until they are taken. Wonder who your first round draft pick would be and who you think would still be waiting in the 5th round of the draft.

Instead of worrying about who the actual people are why don’t we take a look at the role each of these people should fill in your life and then you can fill in the right person.

Jenn (no last name) wrote a wonderful blog on how to surround yourself with greatness and telling us that these 5 people should be:

  • The Drill Sarge
  • The Teacher
  • The Shoulder
  • The Cheerleader
  • The Comic

In another blog Jayson Bradley tells us that the  5 people you should surround yourself with should be:

  • Idealists
  • Doers
  • Givers
  • Dreamers
  • Lovers

We want to get even more specific as we take these suggestions and build upon it.

Lets take a look at who we believe the 5 people you spend the most time with should be to improve everything about your life.

Just because you want someone to be one of your 5 it doesn’t happen overnight.

  • You might need to get an introduction to them.
  • You might need to start spending more time where they spend their time.
  • You might need to read more of their writings (that is spending time with them) or watching more of their movies, shows, or performances. *Please remember that choosing to spend more time with Harry Potter by watching his movies and reading his books will not help you develop magical powers, it will just help you become someone that doesn’t live in reality.

As you select the 5  you want to have in your inner circle keep this in mind.

  • Are they fit? Then fitness is most likely in your future.
  • Are they lazy and sit around? Then you will find yourself on your sofa a lot more.
  • Are they debt free? Then you will find yourself clearing up any debts before you know it.

These people that you spend the most time with each have a role to fill in your life. You might find that one person can fill two or three of these roles. Nothing wrong with that as long as you are choosing good people. These people will switch in your life as you grow, develop and change. While you don’t want to lose who you become, you might want to take that next step forward which means new people in some of these roles. You can always continue relationships with these people, just at a different level.

We are not saying that you can only spend time with these 5 people as that would get repetitive after a short time. We all need the input of outsiders, engagement with new people and new stories to share. Even on Gilligan’s Island it seemed visitors came by so the episodes didn’t get stale with the same 7 people. Amazingly the guests always got rescued while the original 7 remained stranded. – sorry for the tangent there.

Who do we believe the 5 people you spend the most time with should be?

  1. Partner
  2. Mentor
  3. Protege
  4. Best Friend
  5. Peer

5 different people

Let’s take a look at these 5 people in more detail.

1) Your Partner
This is your life partner, whatever that means to you.  This could be your spouse, your roommate that you have kept around. In the business world this could be your business partner.
This is the person that is there for you day in and day out. This person has seen you at your best and celebrated, while also seeing you at your worst and still wanting to be there. This person can fill many of the roles mentioned by Jenn above, such as the shoulder, the cheerleader, and even the teacher and drill sergeant.
Choose this person very carefully and strategically. Again we can’t all choose the same person and just say we want to be married to them, otherwise Vin Diesel and Scarlett Johansson might by very busy.
Choose someone that you want to share everything with forever and that you know will grow with you as you both grow in all aspects of your life.

2) A Mentor
Ask the top people in any area from business to atheltics to personal character and they will all tell you that they have a mentor or a coach in their life. We believe that this person should be more of a mentor than a coach. The difference? According to the Center for Coaching and Mentoring, mentoring is a power free, two-way mutually beneficial learning situation where the mentor provides advice, shares knowledge and experiences, and teaches using a low pressure, self-discovery approach. Also freely sharing their own experiences and skills. The mentor is both a source of information/knowledge and a Socratic questioner.
A mentor is someone that is one, two or maybe more steps ahead of you on the path you are choosing.

  • Your mentor could be someone from work that is doing now what you want to be doing in a year.
  • Your mentor could be that person you know that has the perfect relationship with their spouse or their children.
  • Your mentor could be that person that knows how the computer systems work that you are attmepting to understand.

Find that person, examine everything about that person, you don’t want a mentor at work that is a workaholic and has no relationship with his family if a family life is important to you. Then ask this person if they are willing to mentor you and help you continue to grow. If they think they don’t have the time or the energy just show them this blog and person #3 that we should all have in our inner circle.
Looking for a little more help in how to find the best mentor for you? Check out this blog post by Under30CEO about the 13 Important Qualities to Look for in a Potential Mentor.

3) A Protege
Most successful people are teaching others how to be successful as well. Nobody succeeds on their own and success leaves clues.

  • Veteran athletes take the rookie under their wing and teach them the ins and outs of life in the sport.
  • Business leaders know that at some point they will pass the business on to someone else to keep it going.
  • Parents pass on their stories, their successes and the lessons from their failures to their proteges, also know as their children.

Look around you and find that someone that you know wants to get where you are in life or in  business and take them under your wing.
The energy you will get from their passion will increase the passion you possess, and bring you new solutions to challenges.
As John Maxwell, a man that has many proteges says, he who thinks he leads , but has no followers, is only taking a walk.

4) A Best Friend
This person can be your mentor, your protege and if you are lucky and chose wisely this person could be your partner.  Maybe you inherited this person as a sibling or a parent or a child that you have a wonderful realtionship with.  If you have this person as someone else on your list you can combine these. Just because this isn’t your spouse that doesn’t mean you did something wrong, some people had the best friend first and have kept them forever.
The main task of this person in your life is to be the person that tells you yes when you ask do I look fat in this outfit. A best friend plays the role of shoulder to cry on when needed, kick in the pants when needed and the person that is always there to celebrate with you.

5)  A Peer
This is a pretty open ended sounding person to choose to have in your circle of 5 and yet this could be the one that makes all the difference in the world. Most of us spend more than half of our day awake with our peers. Who you choose to spend that time with when away from the other 4 people on your list matters and it matters a lot.

  • Who are you sharing books with?
  • Who are you sharing ideas with?
  • Who are you having lunch with at work? Are they heading to the fast food place or are they bringing a healthy choice to have for lunch.
  • Who brings that competitive gene out in you making you want to push a little more and be a little better?

Choosing the best choice for a peer partner to fill this spot could say more about you than any of the other people that you choose so make sure you spend your time with the right people.

Now that you know who we believe the 5 people you spend the most time with should be, do you know who these people are in your life already or do you think you need to make some changes?

Nothing is stopping you from growing into the person that you want to become. Just choose the 5 people that you spend the most time with and choose wisely!

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Chadalyst – Take a look at who you are spending the most time with over the next month and see who you are the average of.

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Spring Clean Your Business (and Life)

As the flowers and trees begin to bloom, we start to think about spring cleaning. Don’t limit that to tossing the clothes you haven’t worn for a year. Expand your thinking and get ready to spring clean your business and your life.

One of the biggest challenges with the purge that comes as we clear out drawers and cabinets is figuring where to start. The same challenge can be present in your life and in your business. You think that everything is going great and don’t always take the moment to clean where the deep cleaning is really needed.

You do not need to limit your cleaning to spring time or to just the old items in your home that should be donated or thrown away (nobody wants your old socks with holes in them.)

A successful cleaning can, and should, include your business focus and probably some parts of your life.

We have all heard the story of how when Steve Jobs returned to Apple they had too many different products and he had most of them scrapped and had the company refocus on what would make a difference. The rest of the story is history as the odds are high you, or the person next to you, is reading this on an Apple product.

What about the story of your friend that decided to cut out soda and lost weight quickly?

There are many examples of people who changed the people they surrounded themselves with and watched their whole world change for the better.

Forget all of the stories and examples and let’s focus on you and what you should and could be doing to make the most of this cleaning.

New Year’s resolutions find us making commitments to things that we never did before and think we will magically start doing now. Spring cleaning is where we get to toss away the things that just don’t belong anymore.

Spring Cleaning

Let’s start with our business.

Where should you start?

What are you doing each day that you shouldn’t be?

  • Are you doing paperwork that is not your strength?
  • Are you focused on too many different projects?
  • Are you spreading yourself too thin and using  too many different forms of lead generation for your business?

Take a moment and think about all of the things that you could just stop doing or have someone else do. Think about the success you could have if you only worked on one project or only used two main sources of lead generation.

“To be everywhere, is to be nowhere.” – Seneca

By running around in a circle we don’t accomplish anything other than getting dizzy. Choose a path and follow that path. Focus on the things that bring you a return and don’t worry about all of the other things your competitors are doing. Let them waste their energy.

Alexander Graham Bell said it like this. “Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”

Now let’s look at our life.

What are you doing each day that you could clean out of your life?

  • Are you spending time with people who you know you shouldn’t be?
  • Are you eating and drinking too much of the things you should cut out?
  • Are you filling your mind with negative thoughts from too much news, internet, victim friends?

Take a moment and figure which of these, or what other things, it is that you could remove from your life at least in small doses as you work on your ongoing cleaning.

Remember as you prune the weak buds and branches off of a rose-bush, the other roses will grow stronger and larger. The same can be said for you if you take a moment to spring clean your business and your life.

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Chadalyst  Write down the three things you will clean out of your life. One for your business, one for your personal life, and one for your drawers and cabinets as they need to be cleaned out as well still.

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Change – good or bad

Metathesiophobia is the fear of changes. You might not suffer from this fear and you still might find yourself unsure of what to do when change is upon you.

Most people do not seek out change. These people will go out of their way to avoid change. They like having their routine in place. The unknown is something they wish to leave unknown.

There are a handful of people that are always looking for change. They are never happy with the status quo and are always looking to bring change and revolution to those around them.

Then there are people who don’t think twice when faced with change. They understand the lessons that come from change. These are the people that understand that change is inevitable and when a detour is placed before them instead of expressing their frustration they make the needed turn and enjoy the new path.

Those that have the most success dealing with change are those that learn from mistakes, find the lessons in everything and always have their eyes open before deciding too soon if it is a good change or a bad change.

Change EverydayThere are many types of change that we will experience in our lives. Some of the change we can control such as moving to a new home or city, getting a new job, or starting a new relationship or maybe even ending a relationship.

Some of these same changes we have no control over such as having to move to a new home or a new city, getting a new job, or the ending of a relationship.

Some change we almost all can enjoy. Such as when we get a new vehicle or new gadget and run around showing it off happy for the change that we brought upon ourselves.

The biggest challenge with change is when it is change that is out of our control. Our company makes a change that we have to adopt. We lose a family member and changes are needed. Sometimes change could just be a favorite store closing a location.

The main thing to remember when you are facing change is that change is neither good nor is it bad.

We are unable to look at change and figure if it is good or bad for many years if ever.

Was that move to a new city good? Think of the people you met because of the move. Think of the people you didn’t meet?

A new job, whether it was your choice or your past employers choice, was it a good change? Maybe your old job you would have been dead-ended in and stuck doing the same thing and your new job has opened doors to you and excited you about opportunities again.

Was it a good change or a bad change that a relationship ended? Who knows. Were you being held back from growth and what opportunities might you be missing out. What growth has come from your next relationship?

Just take a moment and when change is placed in front of us. Just breathe and we won’t overreact. We don’t know if it is a good change or a bad change for many days, weeks, months, years or we might never know. We will just get used to the new status quo until the next change occurs.

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Chadalyst Take a moment and reflect on a change that happened that you were concerned with and find all of the positive events that have come from that moment.

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